How do you do, fellow kids?
#FutureDad #ToNaomi
//This post is an excerpt from a series I call, Future Dad. Observations about myself as I prepare for the next stage in my life, fatherhood. In short, if ever one day you run into these posts, yes I was indeed a sentient, and hopefully cool person. This is for you Naomi!
Observations as a returning university student, 10 years later.
Oh boy am I rusty. You are never too old to learn. 10 years ago I was an undergrad at the UPenn. Now I return for my master’s at UW.
Why?
- 10 years. I repeat, a decade away! The colloquial phrase: “use it or you lose it.” I walk through the university square, I sit in these lecture halls. Some of these offices reside in dark basements, some of the lecture halls are state of the art! And I can't help but feel that these areas are so... safe.
There was a time where this was your mom's and my world! Everything was such high stakes.
And I look around now, and I don't think universities have changed per se, we have. Our values, our time commitments, priorities, and cares.
- I think I'm back here to relive a part of my youth. I always have this recurring fantasy:
"I was naive then, if I had the skills and competence and confidence now, I would absolutely crush the competition! I would flourish, not be awkward, be present, super intelligible, and a shining student."
And yet I don't think half that's true. I think I've thought that before, and I still struggle with some assignments, still get nervous of the burden of networking. I want to look cool, be strong and mysterious, and have it all figured out.
- I'm figuring out that this is how I've always been. Hopefully I've figured out some of the strong silent type stuff, but maybe I'm just not as rushed. The best I can try to be now is present.
"I was naive then, if I had the skills and competence and confidence now, I would absolutely crush the competition! I would flourish, not be awkward, be present, super intelligible, and a shining student."
I'm figuring out that this is how I've always been. Hopefully I've figured out some of the strong silent type stuff, but maybe I'm just not as rushed. The best I can try to be now is present.
Anyways I digress - observations:
- Tons of different hair colors and hair lengths. Everyone feels like they are in their intellectual primes, with a sense that they can still change things! Very unique styles. I see repeats of myself, and repeats of Anna. Repeats of socially awkward networking. Strangely I feel like everyone has the jitters.
- Tons of different hair colors and hair lengths. Everyone feels like they are in their intellectual primes, with a sense that they can still change things! Very unique styles. I see repeats of myself, and repeats of Anna. Repeats of socially awkward networking. Strangely I feel like everyone has the jitters.
But maybe I'm reading this wrong. This is probably a master's degree course from people who have been in career!
Equal inputs, equal outputs. Clear rules, clear outcomes. Everything makes sense.
But maybe I'm reading this wrong. This is probably a master's degree course from people who have been in career!
Lastly, I have to admit, that this for me is a safe space. Equal inputs, equal outputs. Clear rules, clear outcomes. Everything makes sense.
And that's just not how these past 10 years have been.
Gods, I was strong then.
So, what can I expect? What do I expect to learn? I'm in this to hopefully tell my story. Starting with what was my entrepreneurial projects at my peak! (I think.) I want to make sense and process what I went through, Understand and emphasize why I did them. Gods, I was strong then. And hopefully I can do the series of this portion of my life justice. 2015 - 2022!
Gods, I was strong then.
So, what can I expect? What do I expect to learn? I'm in this to hopefully tell my story. Starting with what was my entrepreneurial projects at my peak! (I think.) I want to make sense and process what I went through, Understand and emphasize why I did them. Gods, I was strong then. And hopefully I can do the series of this portion of my life justice. 2015 - 2022!
Gods, I was strong then.